What can I say without scaring you?
It. was. wild.
I remember those first few weeks feeling like a zombie. The sleep deprivation was brutal – I don’t think I slept more than two hours straight for weeks.
The constant feeding! It felt like I was nursing around the clock. Breastfeeding was this amazing explosion of love and closeness to Evan… and excruciatingly painful at times. The nipple cream became my best friend. I would be sweating, my heart racing, when I couldn’t figure out how to situate him, and then swooning with relief when I got that one good latch. The feeling of him nursing, this tiny human completely dependent on me, was overwhelming in the best way.
Never knew how glorious showers could be. Some me time. A brief escape from the intensity of new motherhood. Those few minutes of solitude were pure bliss. Then I don’t know how many days after I went before the next one.
Overwhelmed by every little thing about the baby. Is he breathing? Is he okay? Did I do something wrong? Am I holding okay? Is he cold? Is he hot? What was that sound he made? I think this works for him, oh wait, nevermind. We kept him in the crib from day one for all his naps so we were constantly watching him on the babycam on our phones with the sound on. We even zoomed in as much as we could into his stomach for movement to ensure there was movement and breathing.
I got through this stage thinking… so many women have gone through this, and multiple times. I can do this too. Come on, Dawn!
My respect for all mothers, especially my own, increased exponentially while grinding through this period. I kept thinking about my mom, how she did this twice all by herself! I wish I could ask her about her experiences, what helped her get through those early weeks.
If you’re in the thick of the newborn stage right now, know that you’re not alone. It’s extremely hard, but so worth it (eventually) because now your bundle of joy is there with you in the flesh!
Read about my state of mind in those first several weeks.
Also, I’ve noted the list of baby check-ups as I did not know there were so many!
Hey, New Mom! 